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co-creation
February 2009 
Who's Responsible For This?
Jeannette
The other day my sweetie let me have it for something he did not approve of: I let my ex-beau pick up the dogs at our house for a dog walk (which Russ has repeatedly asked me not to do).
My guy was upset for a variety of reasons so we were talking it out. Among other things, he looked for reassurance that I wouldn't ever have a physically intimate relationship with my ex again.
"I really don't see that happening," I said. (I know not to say "never," since that word often involves resistance, and flowing resistance is a fabulous way to invite it in.)
As I gave serious consideration to Russ' inquiry and thought about the unlikelihood of a future sexual rendezvous with my ex, I realized that now the two of us were thinking about said rendezvous - and we all know what thoughts lead to.
Especially thoughts driven by strong emotion!
What popped out next did NOT help: "Well, I don't see it happening ... unless you keep focusing on it."
Oh, boy.
Even if Russ doesn't completely believe in the law of attraction, he knows I do. And he did not like where I was going with it.
Which meant I was now in the hot seat for justifying my (theoretical) "bad behavior" on Russ' vibration. He was exasperated at the thought that I would have an affair and blame it on him because his fears brought it about.
If he understood energy the way deliberate creators do, he would know that makes perfect sense. Wouldn't he?
But his argument got me thinking ...
I wondered how many law of attraction-savvy folks let themselves off certain hooks by saying something like "Well, if you weren't vibrating it, it wouldn't have happened."
Like the couple times I've been stiffed by clients. My ego wants to blame them for not following through on promises to pay, while the more rational part of me knows I can't experience something I'm not vibrationally lined up with. I'm not a victim of "non-payers." Rather, I'm responsible for what happens in my world. Including not getting paid.
One of my girlfriends who is familiar with the law of attraction basics has been known to tell family members that she is not responsible for their happiness and well-being. (She usually reminds them of that after she's late for Thanksgiving dinner or insulted the intelligence of her sister's kids.)
Her family has come to think of the law of attraction as a big excuse for someone to shirk what they are really responsible for.
When I hear about her exchanges, it sounds a little harsh that my friend says and does things she knows upsets her family, and then tells them it's their own fault for being upset. She reasons that because they can choose how they feel, why don't they choose something that feels better than "upset"?
I get the logic, but something about that doesn't sit quite right.
And yet there I was ready to blame Russ for a potential affair I might have with my best friend. (Although, it's not an affair if you're not married, right? Anyway ...)
All of this has made me question ... what are we responsible for?
In sorting this out, my conclusion is yes, we are indeed responsible for what happens in our world. And we are continually CO-CREATING with others.
So Russ can't manifest my steamy hot night with an ex unless I (and my ex) are lined up with that. I can't manifest longstanding receivables unless clients are dialed into not paying. Family members don't get irreverent daughters showing up late for dinner unless everyone's flowing a common vibe on it.
It's the beauty of how Universe syncs up like vibrations.
When we're happy, we attract people and circumstances that reinforce that feeling. When we're disappointed, we attract the people and circumstances who are capable of reinforcing our disappointment.
Rather than vibrating me into bed with an ex (ooh, kinky) it's probably more likely that if I'm vibrating fidelity while my sweetie is vibrating worry about my infidelity, then our dissimilar vibrations wouldn't allow us to stay in close proximity.
Either we'd fall away from each other, or one of us is going to learn the other's vibration.
You know which option I'm going with, right? ;)
As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. How have you noticed others' vibrations affecting you? And where do you place the responsibility for what that leads to?
Access: Public
Jesus said if you bring forth that which inside of you then it will save you but if you don’t then it will destroy you. To me it means what you fail to experience in the positive you will experience in the negative. For us it’s either inspiration or desperation. Now that’s from our point of view but from the universe’s point of view
it’s gonna happen no matter what we do but according to jesus our outlook changes our entire experience. The name of the universe doesn’t really matter. Feel free to call it your Higherself, God, or the universe etc,,, names don’t change the predestination feel of everything.
The 90 second rule:
As far as our emotions go they last 90 seconds unless we dwell on them but we like to dwell on them… in fact we get addicted to them.. there is power in negative energy and I avoid that subject matter because I find it terribly upsetting but if you look towards the light you will find positive energy there. please note the terms positive & negative refer to whatever you believe in as negative/positive. The truth is you will only find happiness when you are in agreement not that an occasional argument to set boundries isn’t healthy but you don’t want to live with someone that you are in constant disagreement with. The highest form of agreement is with yourself and then others around you. Side note if you surround yourself with people that agree with you then you’ll be a very happy person because arguments tend to follow disagreements. You’ll be a little bored but you’ll be happy because happiness is found in the stillness which is hard to find in the rush of thoughts associated with disagreements. That being said we grow with disagreements but it’s also associated with pain and we as humans avoid pain. I believe this is why people are more or less isolationist *shopping isolationist but isolationist none the less* we drive our ego based cars living in our ego based homes that cost a fortune to own that many people never pay off unless they die all to seperate & lift ourselves from the idea that we are connected with the rest of society and to form almost privately run separatist communities away from those that are unable to sell there soul to modern capitalism. Don’t believe me visit your local town meeting and see if politics is fair in your town. Most of the time they side with there buddies because they agree with them but if they fell out of agreement then they wouldn’t side with them. This is why towns get sued from time to time because they break the law so blatantly that people are willing to putup with the headache of a lawsuit. But all of this doesn’t matter because in the end you have the power of choice. You can look at the negative or keep your mind focused on the positive.
Dane Cooks
Dane Cook Quote “whenever a person is cheating or thinking about cheating they feel guilty and will always accuse the other member of the relationship
of the same thing there doing”
wanted to mention the reason that I brought up the town meetings was an example of a group setting and how it’s effected by agreement. There is a study out that says the brian produces an error signal whenever your within a group in disagreement. The brain causes internal suffering until you agree. We all want to say we would stand up for our beliefs but the study indicates that our brain waves actually level out with each other so that people have limited ability to change due the brain actually punishing you.
This might be way things like slavery an other atrocities last so long because people that might otherwise stand up for there beliefs change due to peer pressure on a subliminal level. Not ever knowing that there beliefs were
removed by the group’s peer pressure just thinking they agree. It takes a really strong person to stand up against a group that they are within… it doesn’t take much to stand up to a group you are out of such as saying racism is stupid and not actually ever being around people that are racist which
would require much more power to withstand the suffering produced by our own minds.