(Like, was it my intuition that told me I was in trouble in that hair stylists’ chair, or was it fear of change?  Shoot, maybe it was both!)

People often ask how to tell the difference.  It seems a good topic to cover, since having confidence in your decision-making skills is always helpful.  Especially when fear seems rampant in the rest of the world. 

So I wanted to pick your brains about how YOU tell the difference between fear and intuition. 

To get the ball rolling, here’s what Michael Neill of www.genuiscatalyst.com wrote in his newsletter yesterday (edited for brevity):

The common sense/innate wisdom approach to life is nearly always available to us - but most of us spend so much of our time caught up in the whirlwind of our thought that we don’t notice it. And even when we do notice it, we’ll often ignore it hoping that our intellect can find a different answer more in keeping with what we hope will turn out to be true.

I explained this idea to a corporate client with the first example that popped into my head - that nearly ever woman I’ve talked with who has come out the other side of a bad marriage has told me that she ‘knew’ not to marry the guy at some point before getting far enough down the aisle to say ‘I do’.

Before I could even finish my example, another of the women in the room burst into tears. It turned out she was engaged to be married and was doing her best to ignore her wisdom because ’she didn’t want to let anyone down’.

‘Besides’, she asked me, ‘how do I know whether or not that’s some kind of inner wisdom or just fear?’

I offered her the following guidelines…

   - Wisdom often comes disguised as “common sense”, but in reality is extremely uncommon in usage.
   - Wisdom is sometimes quiet but always clear
   - Wisdom feels right, even if it doesn’t always feel good.
   - Wisdom comes most often in the midst of inner quiet.
   - Wisdom is always kind

Your wisdom is right there inside you, just waiting for you to allow it to guide you. You need only to be quiet and listen - when you relax into it, you’ll almost always know what to do.

Shell Tain of www.sensiblecoaching.com said in her 9/29 issue of Money Knot:

Intuition is different from the charged emotion of fear. Intuition comes subtly and softly. Its tone is always neutral. An intuitive message may be negative, but the tone or delivery will always be neutral. If you are cranked up on the chemicals of fear you will not receive any messages from your intuition.

My best advice when you are in the fear based scary place is to not make any decisions or changes. Wait until you are in a calmer, clearer frame.

A couple years ago I wrote on the topic of how to tell the difference between Gremlins vs Guides:

• Gremlin doesn’t move you into power; Higher guidance does
• Gremlin is fear-based; Higher guidance is love-based
• Gremlin rambles on and on with long explanations; Higher guidance comes in short “feeling” messages (inspiration, spark, inner knowing)
• Gremlin makes your body feel tight, stuck, restricted, with shallow breathing; Higher guidance feels open and light

What do you think?  How do you know when fear’s in the driver’s seat versus when your intuition is in effect?

Would also love to hear real life examples of how you handle it!

PS - check out www.rainbowray.com for more cool artwork.

Well, I’ve got one sitting in my lap right now, so it seemed a good time to write about it.

You’ve heard about my darling foster kitties.  For a while now, right?  (Are you sick of it yet?  Sorry!) 

These guys must be going on three months now!  It’s a little ridiculous - because they’re definitely old enough and healthy enough to be adopted!

In fact, they’ve been to at least five adoption fairs now.

One sister got adopted, but her two siblings are STILL HERE.  Week after week, they’re passed over, when in reality, these are THE cutest kittens alive on the planet.  It makes no sense they’re not getting picked up. 

Especially when the LOA Expert is on the job!  HELLO!!!

Really weird.  (If I didn’t know better.)

So what’s going on here?

Yeah.  This is where the counter-intention comes in.

A counter-intention is when we want something that’s in opposition to another desire we hold.

So yes, I want these kitties to find their permanent homes.  Yes, I want to make room for my next rescues.  And yes, I want Russ to relax. 

(He gets nervous when I hang on to a foster for a while.  Elsa is proof there’s good reason for him to do so.)

And yet, at the same time, I SO love having these kitties here!  I love love love them!! 

They sleep in my lap while I work!  They play in my lap while I work! 

They crawl on my shoulders, wrestle on the chair, entertain us all when they run around the house - they are the cutest things on the planet right now!  So cute that if I didn’t have a high threshhold for cuteness they might actually put me over the top!  They’re Darling!!

(In fact, I’m buying a flip JUST so I can show you guys how cute they are!)

AND … every time I take them to Humane Society for the weekend, I say, “See you tonight!”  Because part of me can’t bear the thought of them truly leaving.

This is not my first rodeo, though.  I’ve done this many times.  I know how to send fosters off to live with someone else.

Still, though - they’re not only the cutest kittens ever, they’re also not too stinky.  Usually by now, having cats in the office this long could make for smelly litterbox action.  But it’s fine! 

And other kitties would have destroyed the bookshelf, bulletin board, everything they could get into - but these guys don’t.  They’re seriously ideal!

Can you feel my counter-intention?  I love having them here so much I’m genuinely reluctant to let them go.

So every weekend I send them off for adoption, although part of my vibe is “have a great life,” the other part is “see you tonight!”

Counter-intention.

Remember it.

If you’re flowing one, don’t get confused about why things aren’t “happening.”

I shared this Abe quote on our Financial Crisis post comments, but wanted to make sure everyone has a chance to see it because it’s really good.  (In fact, you can watch it on YouTube, too.)

Jerry: Abraham, this evening we’re gonna have a presidential hopeful, not hopeful debates but debates between some hopeful presidential people ..

Abraham: We don’t find either one of them very hopeful do you?

Jerry: OK. (laughter) OK, so but I just thought it’d be fun to hear from you if they would allow 3 people in the debate. And the question posed would be, “And you, Mr. & Mrs. Abraham, what would be your proposal to alleviate the current financial crisis, worldwide crisis?”

Abraham: Chill out and go to work.

Jerry: That’s it?

Abraham: Focus upon the things that are important to you and figure out how to satisfy the details of your life. And stop looking to someone else to solve it. And figure out how to bring yourself into
balance. And turn off things like this debate.

Jerry: Laughs (applause)

Abraham: So that you don’t continually harass yourself into the misalignment of what’s already in your vibrational escrow. And then we would say, “We have a plan.”

Jerry: Oh, yeah.

Abraham: And it was set into motion long before we got here on this platform and you are all co-conspirators in this plan. And you have, through what you’ve been living, been contributing to this plan. And it is the brightest and most exhilarating of future experiences that has ever been upon the face of the earth. And it is the legacy that all of you hold ownership of.

In order for you to claim your piece of this amazing pie of prosperity, all you have to do is look in the direction of it and see if you can remember what pieces of it you put there. Because every piece you put there, has been lovingly held for you.

It cannot evaporate from the stock market. And it cannot be squandered by those who don’t understand. And it cannot be misunderstood by anyone and it cannot be taken from you. Because if your life caused you to put it into this holding pattern, this vibrational escrow, then it is forever there for you. And the only thing that is required in order for you to make your personal withdrawal is, make your personal withdrawal by no longer paying attention to who else is making what withdrawals.

Don’t worry about them getting your fair share, it’s not possible for anybody to get your fair share. Your fair share is always ear marked for you. It will always stay there in perfect becomingness.

Oh, and we might tell you that since you put it there, it has been accruing with magnificent interest, the likes of which we have never seen. So it got bigger than it was when you asked for it and it gets bigger with every request you make. And in fact, the more crises that is applied around all of this, the bigger it gets.

So first thing, know that it’s there for you and that no one can get it away from you. And next, stop worrying about what anybody else is doing because it is your worry about what anybody else is doing which is causing you to hold yourself vibrationally out of whack from it.

Now, we acknowledge that the majority of people who would be witnessing such a debate would not have heard a word we said because they are not accustomed to focusing upon the vibrational world. They do not understand that there is a vibrational reality that they hold ownership to, that they must find alignment with before it can be a physical reality.

And so for those who don’t yet know about the vibrational reality we would say to them, “Worry not, we’ve seen this before and we know that you can come through it.”

We would say, “Do not worry about what’s happening because nothing has changed in the last few days, nothing even has changed in the last few years that is so far out of balance that it cannot come back into balance.”

Then we would say, “There are enough numbers upon this planet that are involved in the economics of this time-space reality that it is certain that balance will come back. And all you have to do is sort of settle yourself in, and ride it out.”

And so, the things that we want you to say to yourself every day is:

“It’s getting better. It’s getting better. And it’s going to be alright.

It’s better. It’s getting better. And it’s going to be alright.”

And the sooner you convince yourself that it is better than you thought it was and that it is getting better than it is right now.  And that it is not only going to be alright, it’s going to be really alright, your prosperity can begin to come to you immediately. (applause)

And then we would make the longest list of positive aspects about the other 2 speakers on the platform that we had ever made in our life.

We would speak of the power of their desire to lead and the power of their desire to serve. We would speak about how they wanted this almost the day their feet hit the ground in this time-space reality.

And how each of them is prepared in their own unique way to be all that they need to be, to stand in that place. And then we would say, “Do not hold these 2 men or either one of them or anyone on the planet, responsible for the Well-Being that comes to you. This man and this man is not responsible for your Well-Being, you are responsible for your Well-Being. Give them a break. (applause)

Abraham

Philadelphia, PA 10-7-08

On a Barnes & Noble shopping spree a few months ago, I walked out with a variety of books intended to grow my world and expand my perspective.  One of the books I came home with was called Nice Spells on one half, and Naughty Spells in the upside down other half.  Kinda cute, huh?

Here's, Skye Alexander, from the intro:

Magick is "creating a mental image of the result you intend to produce, then fueling it with your will and emotions." 

She says underlying all magick is a simple physics principle that before something can materialize in the physical world, somebody first has to imagine it.  That energy is the raw material that makes up our Universe.  And that by molding energy, you literally create your own reality.

Sound familiar??

Yeah, to me too! 

Anyway, this girl's not joking.  It's a for real deal book on magick!  The contents include a wide variety of "spells" and call for things like moonlight and gemstones and flower essences and hair clippings and pentagrams and other things that might make a person think "witchcraft."  At least it did me.

(Don't ask why I was surprised to find that in a book called "Naughty & Nice Spells."  ?!)

Anyway, I'm reading and thinking ... is she a witch ... or a deliberate creator??  And is there a difference??

In "about the author" it says Skye is a "practitioner of the occult arts." 

Okay, that kinda sounds like "witch" to me.

This book sounds a LOT like what I teach clients to do has got my full attention and eyebrows raised, if you know what I mean.

Sidenote: wow - just read my vision statement for Good Vibe Coaching which says "bring infinite magic and endless possibilities to light for all."  Hmm!  (I didn't spell magic with a k, though.)

Anyway, Skye says, "most black magick is performed by ordinary men and women who don't even realize they're doing it."

Which makes me think of how my energy worker told me that gossip is a form of black magic (projecting negative energy onto another).  Another 'hmm.'

So now I'm thinking this magick and witchcraft thing might be closer to ALL of us than we realize!

Example: when clients ask whether they can get their ex back, or their boss fired, or the interviewer to pick them over the others, or their boyfriend to think it's no big deal they made out with their ex-fiance (oh, that was mine) ... when I get questions like that, I squirm just a little bit.  Because the answer makes me slightly uncomfortable, and it's the one most LOA experts don't offer. 

Most people say, "No, you can't create on another's behalf.  You can't make someone else do something."

That's not what I say.

Because you can.

And yet, the fact that we can doesn't mean we should, right?

AND ... that doesn't mean we aren't already doing it ... WAY more than we realize! 

Not consciously, by any means, but I suspect most of us have had moments where we strongly wished a particular outcome on another. 

In fact, I saw the divorced girls do it on The Amazing Race last week.  One girl wished bad things on a fellow team and good things on themselves.  I remember laughing, "It doesn't work that way, girls!"

(And no, I'm not saying I can get the President to appoint me to the Supreme Court or Russ to start bottle feeding kittens - although that one's tempting! - but there's a lot more leeway in affecting others than you might be aware of.  The fact is our energy already impacts those in our lives.  The question is how are we using that power?)

So when my client asks me if she can get her husband to be more supportive, or if I can help him improve his sex life with his wife, or if she can get her true love back in her arms ... are they inquiring about black magick?

Skye seems to think so.

And my discomfort with those questions leads me to believe I might be on the same page as Skye.

Perhaps it's just time for me to get over the term "magick" and "witches."  That's probably the lesson for me here.

But whether we call it being a deliberate creator, a wizard, "lucky" girl, or whatever label we use - we're basically talking about managing energy to produce results we want, right?

So is there a line we cross when we impose our will on another person's reality?  Is it wrong to wish a boyfriend to propose?  Or a girlfriend to have a stronger sex drive?  Or a boss to overlook our error?

Maybe crossing the black magick line is a little like pornography: hard to define, but you know it when you see it.  ha

I know this much for sure: when clients make inquiries like this, I ask them to focus on what they REALLY want.  Get to the essence of the true desire.  Take the name or the face off of it and let Universe deliver it in whatever way is best - and be prepared that that may be different (sometimes VERY different) than what they had in mind.

Skye says, "Many spells are considered 'bad' because they are manipulative" and that love spells are the ones people most often misuse.  Skye's suggestion to handle this dilemma is to to add a "disclaimer" at the end of your spell, something like "if this is for our highest good."

I was trained to use the phrase "this or something better." 

Black magick and deliberate creation - that's what I'm wondering about lately.  And the "moral code" associated with using the law of attraction. 

So let's hear it.  What are your thoughts on manifestations when it includes others?  What's your comfort level in this area and how many of you have engaged in "gray" magic, if not black?  lol  (I'm laughing because, remember, this question comes from the girl who manifested her boyfriend thought it "no big deal" that she made out with an ex!)

My ex hubby called to share his success story in manifesting an amazing night with a beautiful young lady in Nashville last week.  He's new to law of attraction, and isn't exactly in the habit of picking up girls - so this was out of his ordinary.

He created it by first recognizing the desire - "I want to have dinner with a beautiful girl."  Then he stated it out loud: "I am dining with a fun beautiful girl tonight." 

Then he "acted as if."  He saw the Godiva chocolate store in the hotel, went in for raspberry truffles for his as of yet nonexistent dinner date, which is when a beautiful young fun girl nudged him in the back of the knees to get his attention. 

Hours later after a whirlwind of dining, dancing and (probably) some drinking, he was back in his own hotel room at 4 am.  He was quite proud of himself, and I admit, I am too.

As we were laughing about his first deliberate creation success, he said "I knew if anyone would appreciate this story it was you."  Ha!  I like being the kind of ex-wife who can delight in hearing her former husband romance another woman. 

I asked if I could blog about it.  He said, "Sure, but don't call me your ex."  He hates that term. 

But it's practically a term of endearment for me.  I think it's a fortunate man who makes it to my ex list.  He'll get more love as an ex than most men do as a husband or boyfriend.  (Slight exaggeration, perhaps.)

What's even more cool is when I get hired to help others accomplish this same thing.  They want to relinquish the traditional experience of divorce or breakup and instead create a fulfilling friendly relationship with a former spouse or partner.  Certainly that's using our power for good, right?!  (Or maybe that's still up for debate as per our last post!)

Some folks assume I'm friends with exes because I ended the relationships.  They say, "It's easy for YOU because you're not the one getting left behind."

Well that's just not true.

In fact, the times when I was the dumpee (vs. dumper) were my best chances for ongoing friendships - since if it's me initiating departure, their ego seems to have a harder time thinking nice thoughts about me.  (The other impediments generally include new girlfriends/wives.)

But how I got to be such good friends with the only man I've ever said "I do" to was not what you might expect.

I credit it to the night he walked out of the house looking like a million bucks and smelling even better (on our date night, no less, which we'd implemented when the marriage road got bumpy) and he said, "I'm going to do what I have to do to be happy; you should do the same." 

Well, I knew exactly what that meant!  There was no talking about it; his mind was made up.  He was gone.

And I cried.  And cried.  All night long.  And felt betrayed.  And abandoned.  And rejected.  And scared.  And angry.  And a failure.  And alone.

All of it.  It was quite the solo pity party!

And the next morning, I was done with it.  I was done being sad and feeling depressed.  I had traveled that road to the end.

The next day I bounced off to work with a spring in my step.  (For real - not faking!)  All the bad feelings were done and gone.  ?!  Sounds bizarre, I know. 

I was still getting divorced, obviously; I still had a husband who (apparently) didn't want me, and who (apparently) wanted other women, but that wasn't going to ruin my life or even one more day.

As I waited at the bus stop I heard someone approach from behind and I called out "Good morning!" in the most sincere singsong voice I'd heard from myself in a very long time.

That was the beginning of my friendly divorce and becoming even better friends with my ex.  I attribute much of it to "feeling all the feelings" and letting them process right on through.  Not getting stuck in them, just letting them come - and go.

(It maybe also helped that the person I called out a cheery "Good morning" to at the bus stop turned out to be super handsome.  There is definitely life after love, huh, Cher?  hee hee)

This is what I mean when I say this place is crawling with fabulous people.  They're right under our noses when we just look for them - whether they're the ones we're married to, divorced of, or waiting for the bus with.  That doesn't mean we have to make something work with a person we've grown apart from, but it also doesn't mean we have to cut off the love in order to move on.

After all, we live in an "AND" Universe.  We can have our cake AND eat it, too. 

What does that look like in terms of relationships?  Where have we limited ourselves as to what we believe is possible?

I see an opportunity right under my own roof right now, and will have fun bringing more AND into my current love life.  The same way I've learned how to work less AND enjoy more money; to work out less AND be more fit; I intend to bring more ANDness to my relationship with Russ.

The food for thought here includes manifesting by acting as if (way to go, Kev!), "feeling the feelings" as part of the allowing process, finding ways to feel better (handsome men at bus stops!), dropping conventions about how it's "supposed" to look (divorce=ugly), and being willing to let more of the good stuff in. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts about relationships and their evolution, as well as your range of experiences in deliberate and maybe not-so-deliberate creation of them  ... ?

(adapted from my "Get What You Want" 10/14 ezine issue) 

The fact that my boyfriend doesn't vote - at all - never has - even in this historic election - is not just embarrasing but astounding as well as completely contrary to what I was taught by my veteran father political research colleagues. 
 
Voting is simply what we do.  It's not optional in my world, so I was shocked to learn my sweetie doesn't exercise that privilege!

In fact, I was shocked not only that he doesn't vote, but that he ADMITS it!  To his blogging girlfriend!  (Isn't that alone reason enough to get out and do it?)
 
But I got off my high horse about it when I realized I might not be using my own vote as powerfully as I thought.
 
Because there's a difference - sometimes a dramatic difference - between the vote that goes on the ballot and the one logged by Universe.
 
For example, I have to admit I've been to the polls before not so much to cast a ballot in favor of one candidate or issue, as in opposition to another.
 
Ever done that?
 
If so, and if you're law of attraction-savvy, you know you actually added power to the very candidate or position you were against.  That's how it works.  (That "resist, persist" thing, you know.)
 
We're well trained in our deliberate creation studies to focus on what we want instead of what we don't want, but I can't say I always practiced that in the voting booth!
 
Which is why I realize my sweetie may have offered a more positive contribution with his complacent absence at the polls than I have by doggedly casting a strongly-opinioned vote.  If I've got attention on what I don't want, I'm just adding more power to that no matter what it might say on the ballot.
 
That's not to say I recommend abstinence from voting, but I HIGHLY recommend we all be more aware of how we cast our vibrational vote.  Which is all that matters anyway - the vibration!
 
If I march out on November 4th to vote against what I perceive as reckless and dangerous leadership, I actually add energy to the very thing (or candidate) I don't want.  On the other hand, when I cast my ballot in favor of what I see as a step in the right direction, I help create that outcome.  'Cause I get what I vibrate.
 
Make sense?
 
So not just this election day - but every day - ensure you direct thoughts in a way that supports what you want, which simply means focusing on it rather than its opposite.
 
Although I know some politicians give us great material for getting derailed on that, consider it good practice to get even more deliberate in how we cast our vibrational vote.